I miss home more than I thought I would. After being in Dublin this summer I thought I would not be as homesick; because in Dublin I never was homesick. I even thought that was weird. I questioned why I didn't miss anyone there - was something wrong with me?? Where was my heart? I should miss people right??
Truth: In Dublin my cup was filled with God, I was so at peace. I knew God wanted me there - it was right. Sometimes in my relationship with God - I feel he is so there, so close to my heart I am so surrounded by peace. But there are other times when I hit a valley and I am so far or I feel I am so far from Him. He never left me though, that's truth.
Truth: I still think about the people and work I was doing there everyday. My heart longs to go back, but I know if God means for this to happen - He will make it happen. I am placing all my trust in Him, that's where it should be. Of course we all falter on this. I say these things now but tomorrow I might be questioning again.
In church today my mind completely wandered. I started thinking horrible things like what if someone were to come in and try to hurt everyone in the church body. It has happened fairly recently at a church in the states. I started thinking would I reach out to help others or would I duck underneath the pew. Then I was wondering - why am I thinking about this in Church? Of all places, I am hearing about God's mercy and love and all I can think are horrible things. Tonight I watched a very scary movie, and afterwards one of the people I was watching it with said they thought about something horrible happening in church as well! I thought this was strange, that both of us were thinking the same exact thoughts while in church. I was very convicted of this, God does not want this for us - in fact He something much greater planned.
